Today, I was watching John McCain talk to a group of "young voters." You know those people who are apparently going to play an instrumental role in every Presidential race, until election day roles around and it turns out...not so much. He was wearing a baseball cap with the word "Navy" printed on it. And I couldn't helped being filled with rage. Not because I hate the Navy, or even John McCain for that matter. But one article of clothing seems to perfectly encapsulate my issue with the guy. This desire he has to be liked. Not to say that Barack Obama doesn't also possess a borderline sad desire to be liked, but since Obama is actually likable (in the strictest definition of the word) it's not as noticeable. Every time I hear McCain talk about being in a POW camp, or how he's more experienced, or about how the surge is working, or starting out a sentence with the words "My friends..." I half expect to hear him talking about how he used to live in a van down by the river.
McCain needs to realize that people don't like him. And deal with it. His party doesn't even like him. Not really. They (at best) tolerate him. But they do respect him. Want proof? Sample the pack of lies they spouted on his behalf last week at the Republican National Convention. Mitt Romney talking about how we need to move away from a Liberal Washington D.C. Yeah, Mitt. The same liberal Washington DC that's been implementing pushy, militaristic politics for the past eight years? That's been ensuring that we have more pregnant, disease-ridden teenagers thanks to "ignorance-only " sex education? That liberal Washington DC? To quote Elizabeth Darko, Mitt Romney can "Go suck a fuck." (Since I A: Am digressing and B: Do not know how one would actually go about sucking a fuck, I'll get back to my main point).
I think John M cCain should relish the fact that he's unlikable. Look at Dick Cheney. Even Gargamel (pictured right in a photo taken at the the 2004 Republican National Convention) thinks Cheney is "kind of mean." And yet Cheney has managed to do just fine by one outsider's standards or another (let's face it, he's been our real President for the past eight years). McCain needs to stop referring to Americans as "My friends." He needs to stop trying to ingratiate himself with the American people. That's what he has Sarah Palin for no w, and frankly, in the two or so weeks she's entered the picture, she's been doing it a hell of a lot better than he ever could (God help us all). My point is, McCain should embrace his inner Dick Cheney and just have fun. If they bring up how he left his invalid wife and upgraded for a better model, he should just wag his head and say "Yeah, I did that. And I'd do it again. What else?" If they bring up how his current wife Cindy is pretty much a drug addict/thief, he should just hit them back with an attitude-filled "The bitch needed drugs and money, so she stole. It ain't rocket science. What else?" If they accuse him of picking Sarah Palin as his running mate because he didn't have the balls to pick Joe Liebermann, which kind of shows that he cares more about winning than what's right for the country, he should flip 'em off and say "Yeah, I did. I want to be President. A lot of people who want to be President would do (and have done) a lot worse things to get there, so don't hate on me just because I'm fly. What else?" He should be having FUN, man. After all, he may LITERALLY drop dead tomorrow.